Spanking A to Z Blog Challenge runs for 26 days in June. Each day I'm supposed to blog using a letter of the alphabet. Please check out the links below to visit other bloggers and see what they are posting. There are no rules so it should be interesting. We love to hear from you do comments are welcome. Have fun! Ah, beauteous 'B', bringing to mind bountiful breasts and bodacious bottoms. Bashful blushes becoming even more brilliant with each smack on her backside, sigh. There, that's enough of that. Today, B is for Baby. I love babies, had five myself and probably would have had more if the doctor hadn't informed my husband, Bill, (woot another B, am I good or what?) with a firm, steely gaze that there should not be anymore children for me. Now mind you, after my third child in three years, my doctor adamantly suggested that I not return the next year except for my yearly check-up. We waited four years. Not bad for us, and really, I looked so good pregnant. Healthy glow, big boobs, well you get the picture. After our forth child was born, my doctor pulled Bill aside and said, "You have two girls and two boys, that's enough." But apparently it wasn't. Our fifth and last child was a surprise, well not exactly a surprise but a little bit of a mishap. I love my youngest son dearly, but had it not been for a ruptured condom, I would be short some grandchildren right now. The whole scene went something like this. While having some very good sex, during which I was relaxed and not worrying about getting pregnant, there was an explosion. Me: "OMG", says I, bounding out of bed and jumping up and down. "What the hell just happened?" I scream. Bill: "I guess it broke. Sorry," he answers, laying back on the bed with a suspiciously satisfied expression. (I mean he looked too satisfied, if you get my drift.) Me: "Shit, I'm pregnant," I shriek, flapping my arms around and stomping my feet. "When did it break?" Bill: "I don't know." Me: "Well when did it start to feel good?" I demand through clenched teeth. Bill: "Right before I came," he replies smiling. Well damn, what do you say to that? Nine months later to the day, our son was born. See you just can't trust anything! Afterward my wonderful doctor had a private conversation with Bill, who proceeded to make an appointment to get what he referred to as 'sliced and diced." I almost, but not quite, felt sorry for him, My doctor retired soon after and we named our son after him. True story.
13 Comments
Rayanna Jamison
6/1/2014 05:16:17 pm
Why did your doctor care so much how many kids you had? Cute story! Thanks for sharing!
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Stevie
6/1/2014 05:27:35 pm
I was a very busy woman and only weighed 113 when I delivered my third child. He felt I was too worn down to keep having a baby every year. The first was only two when the third was born, had three cribs, three highchairs etc. I used to take them for a walk with a double stroller and one in a baby carrier on my back. It was pretty exhausting. I weighed less than 100 lbs and had to buy my clothes in the preteen department lol. When I was pregnant with my last child I only gained 3 lbs by my 7th month and it was a difficult delivery. My bp bottomed out and it was touch and go for a while. He was a great doc and concerned about me.
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6/1/2014 11:24:52 pm
LOL. Cute story and that's pretty much how my third child was conceived too. :)
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6/2/2014 01:11:39 am
Woohoo! That is a great story! I love your doctor - he tried so hard... :)
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Stevie
6/2/2014 11:16:45 am
He was a great man, very old school, let nature take it's course kind of doc. Glad I didn't have to have any more babies with a stranger.
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Tara Finnegan
6/2/2014 05:03:18 am
LOL, I can just picture it. Sorry I know I shouldn't laugh, but I think we've all been there at sometime, some get lucky and others get away with it :D and you're thankfully still here to tell the tale.
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Stevie
6/2/2014 11:18:07 am
I know, thankful he pulled me thorough. We laugh about it now, what the hell kind of statement is "right before I come" Geeze.
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6/2/2014 05:41:45 am
babies aren't predictable, they arrive unexpectedly and never when it would be convenient. Your doctor sounds ace.
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Kathy Heare Watts
6/2/2014 07:39:59 am
OMG, thanks for the great B and laugh too! #3 for me was conceived with a CU-7 IUD and contraceptive foam! My last 2 of 13 months apart!
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Stevie
6/2/2014 11:19:12 am
It's a trip when they are that close in age. One cries, they all cry. I used to think I'd never get a full nights sleep or a hot meal again, lol
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Rhonda Ralston Griffith
6/2/2014 10:04:07 am
Great story. It made me smile:) I didn't like the whole pregnant part at all. I would have never had the two that I have today had they not been birth control babies:)) But thank God I have them.
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Stevie
6/2/2014 11:19:52 am
I never minded he pregnant thing, it's taking them home that bugged me lol.
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