For years I've wondered if my husband was strangely unique or just strange lol. When we first got together I spent a great deal of time trying to decipher his words. As a young 'city' girl I'd never met anyone quite like him, a true 'country' boy.
When he would answer a question with "Does a bear shit in the woods?" I would stop and think about it. Well, yes, I guess he does,I mean where else would he go? So does this mean your answer is yes?
"Can't dance, to wet to plow?" Over time I learned that this meant, we might as well do something or other.
"I couldn't buy a low-necked dress for a Hummingbird." Okay, so if you can't afford a itty, bitty dress for an itty bitty bird, you must be really broke, right?
"You can't polish a turd." Why would you want too?
"He could hunt Geese with a rake." Excuse me?
Needless to say, opposites do attract and we began to bring out the best in each other. I think I taught him a little finesse and he brought me down to earth. Seriously, I had no idea it cost money to turn up the thermostat. If you were cold you turned it up, hot turn it down. I guess I thought the mysterious furnace fairy took care of that. My family wasn't rich, but I never worried about money or even thought much about it. Water, sewer, natural gas were all things that were somehow just pumped to our house by some intricate underground system. He grew up using an outhouse until he was around seven when his parents could afford to build a home with indoor plumbing.
Anyway, to get back to the letter 'S'. In one of my novels, I used something my husband always said to me. He would crawl into bed, after a long exhausting day and spoon me, I love that. Then the sneaky man would begin kissing my neck and nibbling my ear as he whispered, "I just wanna soak it."
Never, let me repeat this as it's crucially important, never believe this! There is no such thing as 'soaking' it. Yes, it's warm and wet in there, well it is after a few minutes of nibbling and kissing, but they will be no soaking. Trust me, one of you will move! And it doesn't have to be much of a move either. Pretty soon a big, strong arm will come snaking around your abdomen and a hand with very talented fingers will head south. End of soaking!
So, when I put this in my novel, my editors had no idea what I was talking about and just plain didn't get the image of 'soaking'. I had to take it out, so I didn't confuse the readers. So tell me, do you get it? And is my husband strangely unique or just strange? I'm keeping him anyway, and after 43 years, I may be pretty strange myself, but I'm curious.
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