STEVIE MACFARLANE
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S is for "I Just Wanna Soak It"

6/20/2014

18 Comments

 
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For years I've wondered if my husband was strangely unique or just strange lol.  When we first got together I spent a great deal of time trying to decipher his words.  As a young 'city' girl I'd never met anyone quite like him, a true 'country' boy.

When he would answer a question with "Does a bear shit in the woods?" I would stop and think about it.  Well, yes, I guess he does,I mean where else would he go?  So does this mean your answer is yes? 
"Can't dance, to wet to plow?" Over time I learned that this meant, we might as well do something or other.
"I couldn't buy a low-necked dress for a Hummingbird."  Okay, so if you can't afford a itty, bitty  dress for an itty bitty bird, you must be really broke, right?
"You can't polish a turd."  Why would you want too?
"He could hunt Geese with a rake."  Excuse me?

 Needless to say, opposites do attract and we began to bring out the best in each other.  I think I taught him a little finesse and he brought me down to earth.  Seriously, I had no idea it cost money to turn up the thermostat. If you were cold you turned it up, hot turn it down.  I guess I thought the mysterious furnace fairy took care of that.  My family wasn't rich, but I never worried about money or even thought much about it. Water, sewer, natural gas were all things that were somehow just pumped to our house by some intricate underground system. He grew up using an outhouse until he was around seven when his parents could afford to build a home with indoor plumbing. 


Anyway, to get back to the letter 'S'.  In one of my novels, I used something my husband always said to me.  He would crawl into bed, after a long exhausting day and spoon me, I love that.  Then the sneaky man would begin kissing my neck and nibbling my ear as he whispered, "I just wanna soak it."
Never, let me repeat this as it's crucially important, never believe this!  There is no such thing as 'soaking' it.  Yes, it's warm and wet in there, well it is after a few minutes of nibbling and kissing, but they will be no soaking.  Trust me, one of you will move!  And it doesn't have to be much of a move either.  Pretty soon a big, strong arm will come snaking around your abdomen and a hand with very talented fingers will head south.  End of soaking!

So, when I put this in my novel, my editors had no idea what I was talking about and just plain didn't get the image of 'soaking'.  I had to take it out, so I didn't confuse the readers.  So tell me, do you get it?  And is my husband strangely unique or just strange?  I'm keeping him anyway, and after 43 years, I may be pretty strange myself, but I'm curious.

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Please stop by and visit some of the other bloggers taking part in the challenge.  I'm sure they'll appreciate it.  Thanks

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18 Comments
Jami Denise
6/19/2014 06:13:46 pm

Well, I don't know what it means, but let me tell ya, sounds good to me! It just sounds nice and swoony :D Thanks for sharing

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Stevie
6/19/2014 11:30:54 pm

So maybe my editors were right. Thanks for the input Jami.

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Deb Rogers
6/19/2014 11:39:36 pm

Maybe its a country thing, or an age thing, (we're married 40 years in August), or I may be a bit strange (that's a definite), but I knew what it meant right away. nice post.

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Stevie
6/19/2014 11:55:00 pm

Thanks Deb. It is kind of a sneaky approach to a tired wife, but I have to say it always worked out well, lol.

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Casey McKay link
6/20/2014 02:51:26 am

I had no idea what that meant, so it would have confused me in a book. But since you kind of explained it I picked up the meaning through context clues. Maybe you could use it in a book where a character says it and has to explain it to the person he said it to?

You and your husband sound very cute together!

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Stevie
6/20/2014 08:32:59 am

Thanks Casey. I guess I've heard it so many times, it was shocking when my editor didn't 'get it' but apparently she was right. My husband is the best thing that ever happened to me. He makes me laugh every day and holds me every night. It doesn't get any better than that.

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Aubrey Cara
6/20/2014 04:48:41 am

I would have gotten it in context. I love country-isms. My husband is the city boy and I'm the country girl. So my hubby never says he wants to 'soak in it'. I'm kinda jealous. That's hot. I'm not sure if my husband could pull it off, though. He's a bit more direct. With that being said, I would love for a hero in a novel to say that. IMO that is a great line.

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Stevie
6/20/2014 08:35:04 am

Thanks Aubrey, I will probably have to use that line at some point, but I guess I better be clear about how it works. "You go ahead and go to sleep honey, I'm just going to soak it for awhile." Yeah, right, lol.

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PK Corey link
6/20/2014 08:14:05 am

I got it, but that could be that I have a very similar country boy. He too got his first indoor bathroom around the age of seven and his 89 and 93 year old parents still live in the house. I've also hear from him,"Can't dance, to wet to plow?" and "You can't polish a turd."

You don't think we're sisters-in-law do you?

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Stevie
6/20/2014 08:30:02 am

Oh PK, lol, it could be, we certainly married the same kind of men.

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Thianna D link
6/20/2014 10:49:29 am

Erm... I still have no idea what he's planning on soaking or what soaking is. Which, I guess, kind of answers your question LOL But I wanna know now!

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Stevie
6/20/2014 01:01:16 pm

Ok Thianna, here goes. He's spooning you, you're tired, he's horny. He's got something hard and achy and he wants to soak it somewhere warm and wet? You know, just to make it feel better, lol. So he slides into you from behind. You begin to wiggle away, but his big hand moves to your abdomen, holding you in place. Then it moves lower and begins to inch between your legs. See soaking just isn't possible! Damn, now I'm hot, lmao.

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Renee Rose link
6/20/2014 11:14:25 am

Sounds hot to me, too! My husband also answers thing with "does a bear shit in the woods?" And yep, farm boy and city girl. LOL

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Stevie
6/20/2014 01:01:58 pm

Nothing like a country boy, Renee :)

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Megan Michaels link
6/21/2014 06:36:03 am

I meant to respond yesterday, I loved this post!! It is our house. I am country and my husband is city--but the difference in our house--both of us come from parents who were raised on farms. So we both have our odd little phrases. "Sounds like a cow pissing on a flat rock!" Or "His barn's on fire," which means he is crazy. or "Do you think the rain will hurt the rhubarb, not if they's in the cans." As long as you take precautions, it will be okay. "That is slicker than snot on a doorknob." Pretty self explanatory. "That's as handy as a fart in a mitten." One of my favorites. And my father's favorite, 'You speak like a man with a paper ass." Whatever the hell that means, even he doesn't know what that means. Hahhaha. Great post.

I would have totally gotten "I just want to soak it" by context. The editors are NOT always right. I hope you use it in a future book and just throw enough context. My husband has decided that he is using this phrase. Thanks!! LOL

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Stevie
6/21/2014 09:22:53 am

Lol, Megan, there are so many of them. I tried to be fairly ladylike, and refrained for 'slicker than shit through a tin horn', 'if it cost a nickle to shit, I'd have to puke' and Bill uses the "He talks like a cardboard man with a paper asshole' often. I appears we are soul sisters lol.

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Trent Evans link
6/22/2014 06:23:01 pm

So, I knew exactly what he meant by that phrase. This may be a dude thing (or not), but there is a very special, even unique closeness engendered by that particular act. Yes, it's (very very) sexual, but there's even more to it. It's an act of supreme comfort and intimacy and LOVE.

Sometimes that can mean even more than pounding her into next week (though there's not a thing wrong with that either).

I don't think I'm doing it justice, but I know other dudes will understand what I'm getting at. Is it a loving expression of possession? Perhaps. He's putting himself where he belongs, I suppose, but even that doesn't fully express it. I'll just say, it's a guy thing, that I think many of us really do understand on almost an unspoken, instinctual level.

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Stevie
6/23/2014 02:20:50 am

Trent, you've explained it beautifully. From a women's perspective, it's also much more than sexual. Your man is claiming you in a totally non-aggressive way and even if his hand is holding you in place, his body is saying 'feel me, this is where I belong, where we belong. This is home.'

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  • Stevie MacFarlane
  • My Books
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  • June 2015, A to Z Blog Challenge